When You Love, You Learn To Let Go
by TwilightFanatic499
Summary: "I may not be able to stay with you forever, but as long as i can and as long as i am able to, will be here for you, even if perhaps you dont do the same for me ..."


I DON'T OWN INUYASHA OR THE QUOTE AT THE END OF THE STORY. THEY ALL BELONG TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS.

It was an average day in the Feudal Era of Japan as a young silver haired-gold eyed- hanyou walked ahead of a group of traveling fighters. A demon-slayer, a monk, a kitsune, and a demon cat followed in step behind their un-chosen leader because no one knew what to say after one member of their group had abruptly left with only the shards of the sacred jewel left behind. No one spoke a word the whole way back to an elderly priestess named Kaede's village after being ambushed by yet another demon. It was two days ago that the dead but living priestess, Kikyo, returned to speak to said leader, Inuyasha. And of course as usual, once the dog demon caught scent of the clay-pot he rushed to his beloved not smelling or sensing the pain he left on Kikyo's reincarnation, Kagome.

FLASHBACK 2 DAYS AGO

Demon-slayer, Sango was always there for her close friend of 2 years and comforted her in any way she thought was possible knowing fairly well that the feeble attempt was useless because whenever Inuyasha left, Kagome would always try to act as if nothing hurt her and plaster a fake face that wasn't at all Kagome. The only difference was that this time, she didn't even put on the mask or cover her tears. Instead she sat in the back of the group and ignored all words that were thrown at the priestess.

At that point stated Monk, Miroku, jumped from his spot in front of the fire scaring everyone around him besides Kagome. He walked over to his friend and sat beside her. Sango gave the monk a stern look saying _"Don't do anything stupid or I will punch you so hard you won't remember what happened the last 5 years",_ while Miroku gave the "_Please leave so I can talk to her", _look causing the Kitsune, Shippou; Sango; and the demon cat, Kirara to leave the campsite momentarily.

"Kagome? What's wrong?" he asked gently while rubbing soothing but not perverted circles into her freezing, pale hands. She looked at the monk with blank eyes that once shown a bright electric blue only showed an image of what they used to be.

"Can I ask you something, Miroku?" she asked quietly, her once sweet voice full of anguish and hurt. Miroku turned to Kagome and saw she was fighting with something deep inside her mind.

"Of course, Lady Kagome", he replied urging her to continue, hoping she would open up and let the hidden tears escape the wall that blocked them from exploding.

"Well, I guess it sounds silly but….. do I seem…. I don't know….. heartless to want Inuyasha to come back to us…. to me?" she asked stumbling over words and making large gaps in her words. Miroku though about Kagome's question trying to think of something that would help her get over the depression that rolled over her at the moment.

"Well, it's not heartless at all, Kagome. I'm sure if I was in your place I would have probably killed Kikyo because she was the only thing standing in the way of what I wanted. But with you, you think differently than most people. Care to explain why you haven't done what I I would have?" he asked slightly intrigued that she didn't murder Kikyo just yet.

"I guess I just….. maybe…. how do I say it? I guess don't hurt Kikyo because if I did than it would hurt Inuyasha and he would never forgive me. Kikyo is and will always be Inuyasha's love and he would never look me in the eye for what I might have done. Plus, she got him first and I understand that they love each other. I have no right to go and destroy what they have built up over the years I wasn't here. I also understand that Inuyasha can never leave Kikyo no matter how many times he says he will never leave, he loves her and he doesn't leave to hurt me but because he dies without her, as would I if I was away from him. If I took that one happiness that helped him smile and laugh than what kind of person and monster would I be?" Kagome finished her speech leaving a very shocked Miroku as he realized how selfless and self sacrificing she was. She would give whatever she had to make Inuyasha smile.

"And if letting him leave is what makes him smile and laugh, truly, than I would die for it. I hope I don't sound like a martyr but I would leave if he was happy with his life, even if I'm not, because that's what true love does. If you love someone let them go, and if they don't return they were never your", she finished letting a single tear drop onto her hands making a very audible PLOP sound echoing around the two.

"But Kagome, what if that's not what you want? What if you want to have Inuyasha with you and not Kikyo?" Miroku asked bewildered at his friend's thoughts at how she would give in to make him happy.

"Well, it might not be what I want but as long as he is happy, I can be happy too. Because all I want is for him to laugh and smile at least once. It's all I want and he doesn't do it here. when I followed him when he left camp one night, he was with Kikyo and he was happy. Truly happy. He laughed and smiled and well I guess it broke my heart to say, I have to let him leave. Set him free from the cage I locked him in because if he does stay with me, he isn't happy and by not showing emotion, I am doing just that", she said with a firm nod of her head to show what she meant was true.

"But there is something I am curious about", she added leaving the sentence hanging, waiting for her friend to respond he nodded not sure how to talk at her speeches.

"Well, is it wrong to want him to smile, laugh, and well be happy around me and not just Kikyo?" she asked quietly, afraid of being scolded. Miroku looked at Kagome wondering where she was getting with all the self-sacrificing and giving up talk.

"I guess in a way it can be selfish, but in your case no because you love him and want him to be happy not just around Kikyo, but you too. I understand what you mean, and honestly I don't know how you have put up with all this for this long", he said trying to add humor but failing terribly only making the girl smile a sad face. He sighed at his feeble attempt to make her laugh and draped an arm over her shoulder.

"Well, I know what I have to do now", she muttered quietly making Miroku look down at her with wonder.

"And what is that Kagome?" he asks lightly trying to be as gentle as he could be without hurting her.

"I have to set him free and if he comes back to me than I know he still wants me here", she replied leaving the sentence hanging once again causing the monk to worry from her pause.

"And where will you go once you let him go?" he asked slightly worried and anxious for her reply.

"I will leave here. I will give Inuyasha the jewel shards and say goodbye. If he wants me here, he can come and get me. But….." she once again caused Miroku to have suspense coursing through his veins as she stood quiet in despair.

"But?" he asked upset she would leave and hoping Inuyasha would return to her and bring her "home".

"But….. if he doesn't get me than…. I will know whether or not he needs me", she finished allowing her head to bow in anguish and her heart to crash to her feet while her eyes held soon to fall tears. Miroku could almost smell the heaviness of the salt that was trying to break through her barrier that blocked all emotion.

"But, you wouldn't really leave us would you?" he asked, desperate to be told wrong but knew from the speech to told that his hypothesis was correct.

"I guess I would. To make him happy, and to be out of his way. I'm sure he would rather have his love instead of the useless shard-detector as his companion while fighting", she spoke and as soon as she finished she felt her barrier break and the gallons of tears fly from her swollen eyes. Miroku couldn't stop the hatred that soured through him because, Inuyasha was the reason the poor, helpless girl thought she was worthless to the group.

"What about us Kagome? Do you think we wouldn't miss you?" he asked getting angry at her for thinking of leaving. He saw her tired and hurt eyes break out the tears that haven't fallen in years as her agony flew in waves around them and probably the whole forest. He watched the once strong fighter fall apart, showing the hurt child who has been holding in her sadness for years finally break down showing pain that has been held in from the first time he left her and all he could do was try and comfort the sad soul he held tightly.

"W-well y-you could g-get used to K-Kikyo, I m-mean I am j-just her r-replica", she sobbed her words stuttering.

"Oh Kagome it will be ok and don't you dare believe we would get over you. You are not a replica, you are your own person who is stronger than Kikyo and any other person I have ever seen, ok" he tried talking to her but his attempts were useless as she fell asleep for the first time since Inuyasha left in her now salt-water soaked sleeping bag.

Miroku sighed knowing that he had gotten all the pain and hurt from her but never accomplished in comforting her. Sango, Shippou, and Kirara emerged from their spots in the bushes and walked up to Miroku with a crying Sango and Shippou leaving a mewing Kirara running to him. He would have made some perverted move on her but knew that she was in such sadness from hearing Kagome's confession that he just held her in his arms and kissed her forehead, saying comforting words to her until she fell asleep. Little did the group know that a certain gold-eyed hanyou watched the whole scene as his eyes bawled out quietly on the highest point of the tree.

Everyone- including the hidden Inuyasha- fell asleep and hadn't noticed the absence of the broken girl that left her jewel shards next to the friends that lay together. She walked out of the forest headed toward the Bone Eaters Well ready to leave behind the land she had come to love so much remembering the words she whispered to the sleeping Inuyasha before she left all traces of her existence behind.

END OF FLASHBACK

Once Kagome left the well was sealed forever unknown to Kagome and no matter how many times Inuyasha tried to go back to her it was impossible leaving him more depressed than Kagome was when she was there.

Kagome stayed home forever never forgetting the friends and her love that she left behind. She waited forever but realized Inuyasha was never coming back but she didn't know that the well was sealed so she thought he really didn't want her back so she went on with her depressing life. She graduated college, got a job, got married to Hojo, but never really loved him. She honestly just wanted to forget Inuyasha when she found she couldn't.

But whenever Kagome feels empty she returns to that same tree where it all began and touches the mark that was still embedded in the tree where Kikyo shot Inuyasha. Every time she touched the small hole, she felt as if she was still connected to the Feudal Era in some supernatural way but as soon as she felt the connection she drops her hand and runs hoping she never feels it again.

And as for Inuyasha he realized that he wasn't dreaming when he heard the sweet voice of Kagome speaking to him the sad saying, "I may not be able to stay with you forever, but as long as I can and as long as I am able to, will be here for you, even if perhaps you don't do the same for me ..." and he realized it was too late for him to call her back, so he went on with life and found that whenever he felt the small hole where Kikyo betrayed him, he feels like he is still connected to her but once the feeling comes it vanishes as soon as it appeared.

Kagome died at 90 and she smiled thinking of how happy Inuyasha must be because to Kagome, he never belonged to her.


End file.
